The Parallel Parent Acquisition
by Princess Shania
Summary: Leonard's father comes back into his life. But Leonard's life isn't the only life he comes back into...Pairings are all canon, may contain sex in later chapters. R&R and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Something was bothering Leonard. Penny was lying on her side watching him and she just knew something was wrong. Usually he would be sprouting off about physics or about what happened at work. Recently, he'd been cooing about the sonogram picture of Howard and Bernadette's baby and he hadn't even mentioned it.

"Sweetie?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going on?"

"Nothing." He answered. She was not fooled.

"Leonard Hofstadter, you tell me what's going on, right now."

He sighed. "I had an email the other night."

"Oh, God. It wasn't that asshole, Jimmy Speckerman was it?"

"No. It was my dad."

"Oh, sweetie. You haven't heard from him since the divorce, have you?"

"No. And he wants to meet and I want to, but...I don't know."

"You're just nervous." Penny tried to soothe him. "It's OK."

"I don't want to meet him on my own." Leonard admitted.

"I'll be there." Penny told him. Seeing his look of surprise, she rolled her eyes. "Come on, we've all got father issues. Hey, I bet the guys'd be there with you."

"I know, it's just..."

"Hey, even Superman had his weakness." She reminded him. A little smile tugged at his mouth.

"You know what his weakness was?"

"Kryptonite." She beamed proudly. He laughed and gave her an Eskimo kiss.

"You really think they'll be there with me?"

"I know it."

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"Are you OK, dude?" Raj asked for what seemed like the billionth time.

"Yeah." He wasn't. He was incredibly scared and the fact everyone was staring at him as though he was about to defeat Lord Voldemort certainly wasn't helping. His breath started getting caught in his chest. He dug through his pockets for his inhaler and tried to calm down.

"Leonard, honey, I'm sure he'll understand if you can't see him today." Bernadette told him.

"No, I've got to see him."

"Well, we're here for you." Penny reminded him. She reached for his hand and held it tight. Looking into the depths of her brilliant green eyes, he felt better. Still nervous, but better. Until the knock at the door came. He slowly opened it, and was nearly knocked over by a blur of green.

"Shut the door, shut the door!" the newcomer intructed.

"Howie?" Bernadette didn't know what to think.

"I saw...I saw..."

"Batman?" Sheldon offered.

"No." He leaned forward and whispered into Bernadette's ear. Her face went from confused to sympathetic.

"Oh, sweetie."

"I _swear_ it was him."

"It's that time of the year, isn't it?"

"...Yes."

"I know you miss him this time of year, but I really don't think it was him."

"He looked like him."

"I know, but there's a very little chance it was him."

"Who's him?" Sheldon asked.

"Daniel Radcliffe. Who d'you think?" Bernadette asked, adopting the most sarcastic tone she could.

"What would Daniel Radcliffe be doing in Pasadena?" Sheldon wanted to know.

Ignoring this, Howard focused his attention on Leonard. "You OK?"

"I'm fine. How about you?"

"I called a stranger 'Dad' about five minutes ago. I've had better days."

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Oh, God!" Leonard was really panicking now. "It's him! Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!"

"Leonard, calm down! It's only your dad!" Penny ordered him. "Pull yourself together. Just answer the door and say 'hi'. OK?"

"Alright."

Trying to ignore the fact his heart was beating so hard it hurt, he edged towards the door, the other five close behind him. Penny slid her hand into his.

And there he was, slightly taller, greying hair with glinting blue eyes. Just as Leonard remembered him. Behind him, he heard Bernadette whisper "Oh, God."

"Is it the baby?" He heard Howard ask. In front of him, his father froze as though he'd seen something that frightened him. Behind him, he heard Howard repeat what his wife had said only moments earlier.

Dr. Hofstadter cleared his throat. "Hello, son."

But he wasn't just talking to Leonard. Twisting his head round he saw the look of astonishment that had crept onto his Jewish friend's face. Howard hadn't been seeing things after all. He really had seen his dad.

**I'm back! This is the sequel to ADJ, if you don't like it, go away and don't flame. **

**Love from Shania. xx**


	2. The Revelation Obscuration

Penny's eyes widened. Holy crap on a cracker. This was crazy. This could not be happening. She looked at her boyfriend, who seemed... she couldn't see how he felt. He didn't look _anything_. Oh, wait. Yeah, he was mad. For some reason, Dr. Hofstadter couldn't see it.

"Oh," he said, looking at Howard and then pointing at Bernadette's four-month pregnant belly. "You're having a ba-"

He would have gotten further if the door hadn't slammed shut suddenly, cutting him off. Leonard ran his hands through his hair, dodged past the others and disappeared to his room, Penny close behind him. Once again, a door slammed shut.

"Well," said Sheldon, making himself comfortable in his spot. "That was an interesting turn of events."

Howard didn't know what to think. He knew perfectly well what this whole thing meant, but he couldn't think of Leonard like that. He was his friend, not his...

There were footsteps outside. That jackass's footsteps. Howard could never forget their sound. They were walking away from the apartment. Good. He didn't want to stay there for much longer, and he certainly didn't want to be anywhere near _him_ again.  
When he opened the door, Bernadette didn't try and stop him. Maybe she understood, he wasn't sure, but knowing he had her support made him feel that much better.

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Howard hadn't said anything about what had happened. Bernadette had genuinely started to believe he'd forgotten it all. Until they were alone, and safely cocooned in their bed. He'd been stroking her pregnant belly and then he'd started talking.

"I always wondered why he'd left. Now I've got my answer."

"What answer is that?"

"The Hofstadters are a _really_ intelligent family. No wonder he didn't want me in it."

"Howard, that's ridiculous!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes!"

"Well, what do you think?"

"I think he cheated on Leonard's mom, had you, cut his time between two families for eleven years, got found out, had to pick one family and chose the Hofstadters simply because there were more children involved."

"_That's _ridiculous."

It wasn't. He knew it and she definitely knew it. But why hadn't he come back. not even for a visit? And how could he look Leonard in the eye again? He wasn't ashamed of him, but how could he?

"You'll have to give it time." Bernadette told him.

The only thing that kept him from lying awake all night feeling like crap was the knowledge that his baby would be loved by him no matter what. And him cheating on Bernadette Like that jackass did to Leonard's mom? Please. That was definitely ridiculous.

**I love this site, but it means I'm hunched over a screen. Why can't we have more flexible spines?! Anyway, I hope this was good enough for your eyes to read and sensible enough to avoid any confusion. And yes. I went there.**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	3. The Confrontational Agreement

"On the negative side." Amy was saying. "If you're having a daughter, her son will definitely go bald."

"What?" Bernadette swallowed her orange juice and stared at her friend in bemusement.

"Men, and some women, inherit baldness from their mother's father." Amy explained.

"Oh, yeah. Howie always says my dad's going to go bald soon. He said it in front of him once. I've never seen either of them move so quickly."

"Yeah, how is he taking the news?"Penny questioned

"The baby? Well, he's excited.."

"No, I meant you know, your father-in-law."

"Oh. Well, he's not saying anything about it. What about Leonard?"

"He's ignoring it." Penny replied

"When was the last time they both talked?" Amy asked.

"Uh.."

Both the blonde women looked at each other, looking for answers. Realizing their significant others hadn't seen each other, at least not with them around, they felt horrified.

"Well, they're alike in that respect at least." Amy pointed out.

"Amy, we're _all_ alike in that respect." Penny reminded her.

"Well, they can't ignore this forever." Bernadette told the other girls.

"What can we do about it?" Penny wanted to know.

"You could make them talk about it." Amy suggested.

"We can't just _force_ them into it. I mean, they've had a hell of a shock already, we can't make them face up to it when they're not ready." Bernadette told her.

"OK, just mention about how it makes you feel. They love you and would do anything for you both if it meant you were happy." Amy informed them.

"That is true. And it's not like we'll be _telling_ them to." Penny conceded.

"It's the best way." Bernadette admitted. She reached for her purse. "I have to go. I promised Howard I'd meet him at his mom's."

"Alright, sweetie. Remember to tell Howard!"

"I will!"

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Penny had the perfect opportunity. She'd texted Leonard to ask him to come round her apartment, and bought wine. Maybe too much, but she had to try and get up the courage to ask him what she was going to. She just didn't want to push him too hard, but she still had to ask. A sudden knock at the door brought her out of what she was thinking and nearly caused her to poke herself in the eye with her mascara wand.

"Hey."

Her heart melted at how happy he seemed to see her. "Hey, honey. How was work?"

"Uhh!" He settled himself on the couch. "It was a very long day."

"Me, too. One of the tables had a burping contest and when I left, it still smelt like cherries."

"Oh, God!" He couldn't control his laughter.

Penny tried to look annoyed but his laughing caused her to smile. "Wine?"

"No, thanks. I've got work tomorrow."

"So have I." She downed some of her glass and passed one to him in case he changed his mind. "Have you seen Wolowitz today?"

"No. He's been avoiding me."

"Maybe he's just been busy." She didn't like to think of anyone avoiding Leonard, even though she couldn't really blame Howard.

"No, he's avoiding me. And doing a pretty good job."

"Have you tried texting, calling, emailing?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know what to say."

"Aw." She seated herself on his lap. "Honey, he's probably missing you. And I know you're missing him."

"What do I say?"

"OK, just go into his workplace and say 'hi'."

"Do you know how awkward that'll be?"

"Why would it be?"

"Because...why don't you talk to him?"

"Because he's not _my_ half-brother! God, Leonard, this isn't fair on either of you!"

"What do you mean?"

"It's not fair on you guys because you're letting that jerk keep you apart. Again."

"OK, I'll talk to Howard."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

She kissed his neck. "Thank you. It's just, you seem so tense and sad and I don't want you to be."

"I love you, Penny."

Squeezing him tight, she whispered, "I love you, too."

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When they got into the apartment, Howard presented Bernadette with a plastic bag. She instinctively knew it was baby stuff. They'd made a pact not to buy any until five months. She gave him a disapproving look.

"I know we're only four months in, but I couldn't help it." Howard explained.

Rolling her eyes and trying to avoid smiling, Bernadette reached into it. "Oh, you got a little bath set!"

"It's even got a dressing robe. And because we don't know the gender.."

"You got a blue one _ and_ a pink one, didn't you?"

Howard shrugged. "Maybe we'll have twins."

"Oh, sure. It'd explain why my bump is so big."

"Maybe he or she's having a growth spurt."

"Howie, have you seen Leonard today?"

"No, he's been avoiding me."

"Have you tried to find him?"

"No."

"Honey, he's going to be an uncle soon. You don't want him to miss out on the baby's progress, do you?"

"Of course not. I'm just freaking out. He's my friend."

"Which is why you should talk to him. Howard, this is huge. You can't just ignore it and hope it'll go away, because it won't."

"I know. I'll talk to him when I see him."

"You're OK with doing that?"

"If it makes you happy."

"I don't want you to feel pushed into it, that's all."

"Hey, it's fine. You're right, I can't hide from it."

"I love you."

He kissed her and smiled. "I love you too."

**And the award for Worst Chapter Ending and Worst Chapter Naming of 2013 goes to...me! Seriously, I'm terrible at names and ending chapters and all that jazz. Ble-ech. Anyway, would you guys like a Rostenkowski-Wolowitz son or a Rostenkowski-Wolowitz daughter? I'm the idea of them having a the son myself for reasons I don't know , but what do you guys reckon?**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	4. The Co-operative Conversation Solution

This was insane. Leonard had been back and forth to Howard's lab eight times and he'd not seen him once. And if that wasn't bad enough the university's internet was down _and_ he'd forgotten his cell. He gave up. He'd had enough of trying to find him and getting nowhere. If Wolowitz wanted him, he could find him himself.  
He was still trying to wrap his head around it. He and Howard were so different. How could they possibly be related apart from those 50 people all of humanity descended from? And how had his father managed to raise two families at the same time for _eleven years_? Did his mother know? Did _Howard's_ mother know? Why did he leave Howard, anyway?

So many questions were hurtling around his mind. And the one who could answer them, he didn't want to see again. Seeing Howard again was going to be hard, but his- _their_- father? That was going to be near impossible.

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This was damn great. What was he going to tell Bernadette? 'Sorry, but I couldn't find him.'? That sounded too convenient to be true. _And_ Leonard wasn't answering his cell. He disappeared back to his lab. Leonard could find him himself.

This whole thing wasn't good. Well, rather Leonard than some over-sized, steroid-infused Neanderthal. But it was the fact that his- _their_- dad had picked his favorites and moved on. He got that more kids meant more hassle. But you should never leave your child, ever. Did he know how bad it'd been? Puberty had been hell. He had all these changes happening to him, but no one there to explain them or give advice on important things like shaving or girls. And why had he treated them so differently? He'd never drunk whilst in the Hofstadter residence, Beverley wouldn't allow it, yet Howard had seen him drunk more times than he'd seen him sober.

He wanted to know, but he couldn't face the man and ask. That would be worse than seeing Leonard again.

* * *

KNOCK!KNOCK!

"Who is it?" Sheldon called, not looking up from his whiteboard.

"It's Leonard."

"Wait a minute."

Exactly sixty seconds passed and Sheldon was looking down at him. "Yes?"

"I want to talk to you about..my-_our_- dad." Leonard mumbled.

"Oh, boy. I wondered how long it would take. Come in."

"Thank you."

"I sense you want to... talk?"

"Nothing gets past you."

"I know. My social skills are really coming along!"

"I have a lot of questions about...him."

"Who?"

"Our- father."

"I notice you say 'our'."

"Yeah, so?"

"When you say 'our'..."

"I mean Wolowitz."

"Hmm. It seems you've accepted Wolowitz, _but_ you haven't accepted your father."

"Well...yeah. How did you know?"

"Simple body language. Continue."

"I want to ask these questions, but I can't face our father."

"He's not the only one you can't face."

"Well, what would you do?"

"_I_ wouldn't have as much a choice as you. In case you've forgotten, my father's _dead_. Personally, I'd suck it up and ask him."

"How?"

"Simple. I'd say '_please tell me why you had another son and never told me. Also, if you could please explain why you _abandoned_ him at the most critical point of his development to us both, that would be appreciated.'"_

"That's pretty good, actually."

"Of course it is. And if you're wondering what to say to Howard, tell him how you feel about it all. Open up to him, he opens up to you and you'll both feel better."

"Where the _hell_ did you hear _that_?"

"Oprah Winfrey. Amy forced me into watching it."

* * *

"Hey!"

"Hi, Raj!"

"Turn that thing down, would you?"

Howard located the 'off' switch on the machine saw and looked at Raj. "What is it?"

"Dude, you've got to see Leonard."

"I've tried, but I can't find him!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I've gone to his office nine times and he's not there."

"Huh. Maybe he was out. Anyway, you can't let him drive between you two."

"I know that. I just don't know what the hell I'm gonna say when I do see him. What would you say?"

"Well, my brother Ranjan is 15 years older than me. Whenever I saw him as a child, he was always more like a stranger than a brother. _ I_ used to get _all_ shy."

"Wow. _You_ used to get shy?"

"Lowest form of wit, dude. Anyway, when I turned 12, I'd just say 'How are you?' It would open a can of snakes and we'd end up talking about _everything_. Try it when you see Leonard."

"Thanks."

"Ah, you're welcome." Raj moved towards the door, but then stopped, seeing the somewhat haunted look in his best friend's eyes. "Hey, are you OK?"

"I'm fine."

Raj's coffee-brown eyes narrowed. "I've known you for nearly 10 years, dude. I _know_ when you're lying."

"I'm not upset."

"Really?"

"OK, I'm not happy,but..I don't know."

Raj placed a comforting arm around his shoulders and drew him close. "It's OK." He used his other arm to encase him in a consoling embrace, lightly rubbing his back." It's gonna be OK, dude."

**Balls! Why is it when I write about two guys hugging it out, it _ALWAYS SEEMS SLASHY_?! Anyway, I'll get Howard and Leonard together, hopefully next chapter! See you soon, guys! Thank you so much for the reviews! They're always appreciated! **

**Love from Shania. xx**


	5. The Awkwardness Dissolvation

It's strange how sometimes fate is on your side. Not that, as men of science, either really believed in fate, but that was beside the point. The working day was finished and Leonard found that his car's engine would not start. He was just giving it a swear-word filled rant on what he thought of it, while Sheldon stood by with his hands clapped over his ears, when he was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Need a lift?"

Wishing that Howard had found him when he wasn't swearing at his car, Leonard accepted and told Sheldon he could take his hands off his ears.

"How've you been?" Howard asked, remembering Raj's advice.

"I've.." Leonard felt Sheldon's eyes bore into the back of his skull. "..Had better weeks."

"Me, too."

"I'm sure he missed you."

"Don't give me that. One letter 13 years ago does not equal 20 years of missing someone. It's like sending somebody a postcard whilst you've had a five-year long week off and then forgetting them for the rest of your life."

"How can you have a five-year long week off?" Sheldon asked.

"It's a figure of speech." Howard shot back.

"I see."

"I'm sorry." Leonard said.

"Don't. You're not the one I want an apology from. Have you spoken to him?"

"I haven't. But he's called up a lot."

"You should answer the phone and tell him to fu-"

"I'm not doing that."

"It'd be good to say."

"Do you want to talk to him?"

"No. Well. I dunno. I have a lot of questions for him."

"We both do."

"I can't believe your _asswad_ of a brother..."

"Howard!"

"He is! Anyway, I can't _ believe_ he's going to be my kid's uncle."

"I'm going to be his uncle too, right?"

Howard smiled. "Yeah."

"I'm confused." Sheldon announced.

"What about?" Leonard asked.

"Is Howard a Wolowitz or a Hofstadter?"

There was instant quiet.

"I'm going to have to talk to Bernie about it." Howard said, at last. "I'm not sure what she'd think."

"You look more like a Wolowitz." Sheldon told him. "I've _ seen_ the Hofstadter men. You don't look anything like them."

"How come I haven't seen them?" Howard wondered. "We could've found this out years ago."

"They don't often visit us. The one time _you_ would've seen them is that Thanksgiving my grandmother was here..."

"You swore you wouldn't remind me of that. Again."

"I'm sorry, but you should've seen your face."

They were at Los Robles.

"Are you coming in?"

"I guess. Bernie's visiting Penny later."

"I think we should try and see him soon. He leaves in a week and won't come back just to see us."

"Look how privileged we are. Having him as a father." Howard muttered. "Still, I guess you're right. We can't avoid him forever."

**I CAN'T BELIEVE SEASON SEVEN ISN'T IN THE UK UNTIL NOVEMBER! NOVEMBER! STUPID, FREEZING COLD NOVEMBER! GODDAMMIT TO HELL! IF I MEET THE AIRER PEOPLE WHO AIR THE SHOW, I'M HAVING SERIOUS WORDS! DO YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW LONG I'VE WAITED FOR THIS! I'm not shouting at you guys, but really! Why is it _November_?! Most of you know how long I've been going on about it. I wish I lived in America. You lucky ducks! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and as always, thank you for reading and reviewing.**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	6. The Divestion Confrontation

It had taken lots of patience and Bernadette taking control of the phone to convince Dr. Nathan Hofstadter to discuss the situation. The original plan had been that it would just be the boys talking with him, but at the last moment, they realized they needed their wife/girlfriend for emotional support and to prompt the man into talking. Leonard and Penny were sharing the white chair, hands entangled and Howard was by Bernadette who was sitting on Sheldon's spot. He had an arm around her and kept stealing glances at the door as though expecting the man to come in at any second.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Are you boys in here?" called Dr. Hofstadter.

"Yes." Leonard whispered. Realizing there was no way their father could've heard that, he raised his voice. " Yes!"

He blinked in surprise when he saw the two women. "I thought it'd just be you two." He gestured at Leonard and Howard.

"We changed our minds." Howard explained. He shuffled closer to Bernadette as his parent walked towards the couch. To his relief, the older man chose to sit on the spinny chair which had been where Raj had been sitting an hour earlier. It was the furthest away from them all.

"What do you want to talk about?" Nathan prompted.

"OK. Why did you leave?" Howard questioned.

"Your mother made me."

"Why?" Penny asked.

"We had a very big fight."

"How did you manage to raise two families at the same time for eleven years?" Leonard wanted to know.

"I divided my time very carefully between you."

"Why did you get drunk so much?"

"I...God." Nathan looked down. He took a deep breath and tried to look Howard in the eye again. "I made a huge mistake in cheating on Beverley. I never thought I'd get your mom pregnant. It was one time! And it wasn't even that good. But I couldn't abandon an _ infant_."

"Yet you had no qualms about leaving a child." Penny quipped.

Nathan continued as though he'd not heard. "I liked your mother at first, she was sweet and caring, but she wasn't as calm and logical as Beverley. I got... sick of her and discovered alcohol. And we both know I'm a mean drunk."

"God knows I do." Howard said. Nathan winced.

"Why didn't you tell us before?" Leonard quizzed him.

"When I emailed you, I told you I had something to tell you. I was going to tell you I'd had another boy, was going to ask if you wanted to find him." Nathan glanced at Howard. "But it seems you already have."

"Wait, why do you care so much _now_?" Howard asked.

"I'm an old guy. I'm not going to be around much longer. I know this is a lot to ask, but I came hoping for your forgiveness. From both of you."

"You had a wasted journey." Howard told him bitterly. "I haven't forgotten my childhood, _Dad_."

"Son, I know I screwed up..."

"Screwed up? No, the guy on lookout on **Titanic** screwed up." Howard shot back. He stood up. "I've got work tomorrow, see you guys." Bernadette slid her fingers through his and accompanied him to the door.

Nathan looked desperately at his remaining son. Leonard shook his head. "I'm with him. Also, it wouldn't have killed you to be affectionate to your kid once in a while. You know something? Kids _like being hugged_!"

He pointed at the door. "Now, _go_."

Nathan paused by the door. "I'm sorry."

"Please just leave."

The moment the barrier to the apartment closed, Leonard sank onto the chair, placing his head into his hands. Penny put her arms around him. She wondered what Howard and Bernadette were doing right now. Probably Howard was sad too. She ran her fingers through Leonard's clumpy, soft hair.

"It's OK, baby." She kissed him and held on tighter. "I've got you."

**So, he cheated on Bev with Beulah, got Beulah pregnant, stayed with both families, got drunk when he was with Beulah because he got sick of her, and eventually left Beulah because of a COLOSSAL argument they had. But what, exactly, was the argument about? If you want to know, you'll have to wait a while, I'm afraid! I'm dragging this thing far out. Hope you enjoy and as always, thanks for R&Ring!**

**Love from Shania. xx **


	7. The Fraternal Inclination

Even though he'd managed to put Nathan out of his mind, Howard knew that Leonard hadn't. He could tell by the way he was. He wasn't paying attention to people which meant his mind was elsewhere. He kept glancing at the door as though expecting someone, even when all seven of them were together. Howard knew what that meant too. And the biggest clue was that he wasn't talking about work or comics or TV shows. He was grieving. Grieving the loss of the only parent who showed any sort of caring towards him.  
He wanted to help somehow, but couldn't think of a way to. Bernadette told him to give Leonard space, that he would be OK soon. So he did. But when he'd been like he had for the best part of 3 weeks, Howard decided he couldn't put things off any longer. He had to take things into his own hands.

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Why had his father done it? Was he tired of him and his sister? Leonard had always known that Beverley wasn't the most affectionate woman, but to cheat on her was terrible. He wondered, more and more as the minutes ticked by, if Beverley knew. She seemed to know everything to him, but if she had known, wouldn't she have told him? Didn't he have a right to know? And who was to say he didn't have more secret siblings running around?  
He wasn't close to his mother. But at that point he wanted her, needed her. He needed her cold calmness to tell him what he needed to know. They hadn't talked about the divorce. Maybe they should have.  
He was about to pick up his phone and call her, when he was interrupted by a knock at the door. Deciding he would call his mother later, he went to answer it.

"Oh, hi. I didn't know you were coming over."

"Neither did I. Until my sister-in-law, the Anti-Semite stopped by..."

"I take it she won't be godmother?"

"Not a chance in hell."

Now he was here, Howard didn't know how to put it. Should he just come out and say 'We need to talk about Nathan'? The thing was, while he wanted to cheer his buddy up, he didn't want to push him away while he was doing it.

"What is it?" Leonard could see Howard was nervous about something. He hoped it wasn't anything to do with the baby.

"Look, you're upset over this whole thing..which is good, um, not good, but it's _normal _and, uh, I think we should talk about it."

"OK." Leonard said. "But it's safe to say I'm not the only one who's upset over it all."

"Well, no, but it'd still be good to discuss it, y'know?"

"I know."

"Oh." For a few moments he'd thought he'd have a struggle getting Leonard to talk. "Great."

"Do you think we have other siblings?" Leonard asked after they'd seated themselves at the island.

"Nope. He's an ass, but I don't think he's been running about impregnating all these women."

"What is it?" Leonard questioned, noticing the sudden look of panic that found its way to Wolowitz's eyes.

"Do you think I'm like him?"

"What?! Don't be stupid."

"It's just.. you know, he's..."

"For God's sake. Just because you attempted to get girls, in not very subtle ways, when you were younger, does not mean.."

"What do you mean 'attempted'?!"

Leonard ignored this. "It doesn't mean you are, were or ever will be like him."

"If you say so." Howard replied.

Leonard ignored this too. He didn't feel like spending an hour trying to convince him. "Hey, did you ever have anyone to talk to about it?"

"No. I didn't want to talk about it with my mom. The rest of the family refused to talk about it. My mom just assumed I'd get over it. Like.. he was never that important."

"I'm sorry."

"What was he like with you?"

"He was very serious. Never really got involved with us, unless we were doing a project of some kind. He didn't get drunk when we were around. Mother didn't allow alcohol in the house."

"Thought not. Are you really pissed at him?"

"Well, yeah. It's just..."

"I know. Has he tried calling you?"

"At least five times a day."

"Wow."

"Do you want his number?"

Howard blinked. Did he? He really disliked him at that moment, but he had questions still. Maybe he could text his father..? He found himself nodding. Leonard found the name and looked at him as he saved Nathan's number into his cell.

"Will you call him?"

"I don't know. But it's good to have. Thank you."

"It's OK."

Howard looked at his watch. "I'd better go. Joy always leaves at 7:00."

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow."

Before he left, Howard asked, "Do you feel better?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

He did. It was surprising how much that conversation had helped him. He felt...lighter, somehow. He wandered around for a while after Howard had gone and then the door caught his eye. Penny would be home by now. He felt guilty over how...absent-minded he had been with her these past weeks. It was time for him to remind her how loved she was.

**There were a number of ways things could have gone. Originally it was going to be Joey telling Howard to talk to his dad. Then I realized that was stupid and WAY OOC for Joey. Then I decided to have a psychology thing go on between Leonard and Howard. I asked 5Mississipis. She said it was coolio, so here we are. I know it's not psychological as it could be, but I think it could've been worse. Second of all, there was going to hug-time between Leonard and Howard. It was too hard. Frankly, it would be easier to write Howard and _Sheldon_ hugging. Besides, we've already had one man - on - man hug, so to have two so early on in the fic would probably not be wise. Especially considering the characters in the show don't spend a hella lot of time hugging. As always, I hope you've enjoyed it!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	8. The Number Acquistion

"..So, he comes home and says he's just been back at work." Bernadette was saying.

"Had he?" Amy asked.

"No. I was looking through his contacts to try and find our midwife's number because it wouldn't work on my cell and guess what I find?"

"What?"

"Nathan's cell number."

"Really?" Penny asked, surprised. "I thought he was mad at their dad."

"I know! So, I asked him 'Why is his number here?' and he goes all quiet and _eventually_ he admits he went to see Leonard when he left."

"Why would he lie about _that_?" Penny wanted to know.

"He said it was because I'd told him to give Leonard space." Bernadette shook her head. "Then we talked about it and he apologized. Thing is," she lowered her voice to a whisper. "I'm kinda curious about _him_."

"Well, that's understandable." Penny told her. "He's your father - in - law."

"Yeah, exactly." Bernadette agreed. "And he hasn't asked me not to contact him, but I'm afraid if I do, it'll upset him."

"Well, why don't you just ask Howard if he'd mind?" Penny suggested.

"Because he clams up every time I bring it up."

Penny sighed. "Leonard's just the same."

"Why don't you just call him?" Amy asked.

Bernadette blinked at her in astonishment. "What?"

"Just arrange to meet. He is family."

"Because then, I'll be doing that behind Howard's back." Bernadette explained. "I don't want to be in a marriage where I'll be sneaking around my husband for the whole of our lives."

"Do you _want_ to meet him?" Amy questioned.

Penny and Bernadette exchanged glances.

"Yeah." Bernadette said, softly.

"We really do." Penny murmured.

"Why? I understand Bernadette wanting to, but..." She looked at her best friend.

"Because one day, he's going to be my father - in - law." Penny explained.

"Are you going to be proposing to Leonard soon?" Bernadette asked.

"Well, not _soon_, but... I have been thinking about it." She glared at the other two, who were fidgeting. "Don't tell anyone. This stays between us."

"Fine." Amy thought for a moment. "What if we ask Sheldon? He may have Dr. Hofstadter's number."

"He is pretty close to the Hofstadters." Penny said, thoughtfully.

"I know. I'm just thinking, will he tell anyone?" Bernadette pointed out.

"If we threaten to kick his ass, he won't." Penny told her.

Amy gave Penny a serious look. "Bestie, don't. Anyway, if we just ask to meet up with him on a _scientific_ level rather than a personal one, he probably won't be asked about it by your men."

"That could work." Penny exclaimed.

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"So, on what scientific basis will you be wanting to talk to Dr. Hofstadter?" Sheldon asked.

"We want to ask his opinion on something to do with biological science." Amy answered.

"Well, I know that. What kind of biology?"

"Neuroscience." Amy felt uncomfortable lying to her boyfriend, but for the sake of her two best friends, she kept going. "I won't bore you with the details. Could you set up a meeting for us, please?"

"Oh, alright. At least someone cares about boring others with details of their tedious careers." He took out his cell phone and began tapping out a message. "Why is Penny going with you?"

"We're going shopping afterwards." Penny said, before Amy could.

"Oh. For a moment, I thought you were going to see Dr. Hofstadter on a _personal_ level." Sheldon smiled a little. "I crack myself up."

**Hopefully that's better than the last chapter! Wow, you've given over 20 reviews! Thank you, guys! As always, hope you enjoyed and review if you can! If there's anything ungood, don't hesitate to tell me!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	9. The Meeting Altercation

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Bernadette gasped, rubbing her bump vigorously.

They were in a rundown little cafe, the sort of place none of their guys would even think of setting foot in, waiting to see Dr. Hofstadter.

"Just try and remain calm." Penny tried to soothe her. "We won't be here very long, OK?"

"OK." Bernadette took a deep breath.

He'd been pretty happy to hear from them, so she had no doubt he would turn up. He understood they had questions, and was willing to answer them. She just didn't like doing what she was doing. She and Penny both knew their boyfriend/husband wouldn't be happy if they knew. She was starting to think of calling the whole thing off, when the door ting-a-linged.

"Hello, girls."

Bernadette smiled uneasily. Penny started twirling her straw around in her soda, feeling unexpectedly nervous.

"You're not here to ask about neuroscience, are you?" He asked.

"No. We wanna know what the hell made you abandon her husband when he was a kid." Penny admitted.

"I already told you. His mom and I argued a lot."

"Couldn't you have visited?" Bernadette asked.

"It's not that easy..."

"Did your wife know you'd cheated on her?" Penny asked.

"She did."

"And she knew you'd been with Howie?" Bernadette asked.

"Yes."

"Did Mrs. Wolowitz know?" Bernadette wanted to know.

"Beulah? She knew I was married."

"What?" Penny looked confused.

"She thought we were divorcing around the time we conceived. After he was born, she never really asked."

"She never wanted to get married?" Bernadette asked.

"We just came to a mutual agreement. We decided we didn't have to get married. Around that time, it was becoming normal for people to have children out of wedlock."

"Hmm. Alright, why didn't you tell your other kids you'd had another son?" Penny asked.

"I didn't want them to get upset."

"OK." Penny didn't feel at all convinced, and looking at Bernadette, she saw the pregnant woman felt the same. A glance at Amy told her the neuroscientist felt as they did, too.

"Really." Nathan leaned forward to look more closely at them. "I do love my children..."

Penny scoffed. "Right."

"I wasn't a good parent when they were younger. I_ know_ that. I just want to start over with them."

"Why _now_?" Bernadette quizzed.

"I might not be around for a very long time." He didn't look them in the eyes this time. It was obvious to the three of them that he was _hiding_ something.

"Uh huh." Penny got up. "We have to go. Come on."

Before they left, Nathan caught Bernadette's wrist. "Please get them to meet me. Leonard won't answer his cell and I don't know what Howard's number is. I want to make peace with them."

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"OK, he was totally hiding something." Penny told the other girls, the moment they were in a store.

"Of course he is, but what?" Bernadette replied, looking up from the violet sweater she was holding.

"He might be ill." Amy pointed out. "I don't know if you noticed, but he looked very pale."

"Yeah well, so do all of our guys." Penny pointed out.

"Amy does have a point." Bernadette said, placing the sweater into her basket. "Also, he looked tired. Like my nana before she..."

"Damn, I wish we'd asked if there was something wrong with him." Penny told the others. She lowered the little pink dress she'd been examining. "Although, wouldn't he have told us?"

"He may be going through denial about his illness." Amy suggested, placing the red high heels she'd been looking at in her other arm. "Most ill people do go through denial."

"Wow. Maybe we should tell them to make peace."

"How can we do that?" Bernadette asked. "They're really upset with him and I don't blame them."

"How about we give them until the end of the week and then we suggest that they make up for the sake of their futures?" Penny asked.

"What do you mean?" Amy wanted to know.

"Well, you're having a baby. You want him or her to know their grandparents, right?" Penny asked Bernadette.

"Of course I do."

"Well, there you go. That's why they should make peace."

"I'm impressed." Amy complimented her. "That's good reasoning."

"Thank you."

"I just wish we hadn't snuck around."

"Hey, it's alright. The boys won't find out." Penny told her. "Trust me."

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"Just think," Raj said. "In a few months, you won't be coming here as often."

Howard rolled his eyes. "I've got six months. Relax. Besides, I'll take Junior here with me."

"He's gonna love it." Leonard told him.

"Oh, hey guys." Stuart greeted. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, we've had stuff come up." Leonard explained, glancing briefly at Howard.

"Oh. Hey, I saw Penny today."

"Penny?" Leonard repeated, surprised. "She's working today. I didn't know you go to the Cheesecake Factory."

"I don't. It's too expensive. I went to the, uh...oh! The Flying Apple. It's a little cafe. Anyway, Penny came in with Amy and a blonde pregnant lady."

"Did the blonde pregnant lady have a silver star around her neck, a wedding ring and a pair of brown glasses on?" Howard asked.

"Yeah. And she had a _ huge_ pair of.."

"_That was my wife_." Howard interrupted, glaring at Stuart with all the force he could muster. "Her _name_ is Bernadette."

"That's weird." Leonard commented. "Penny told me she was working today."

"That's what Bernadette told me."

"What's going on?" Sheldon asked.

"Stuart saw Penny, Amy and Bernadette today. They were supposed to be working."

"They were seeing Dr. Hofstadter today." Sheldon explained.

"What?!" Leonard exclaimed. "Why?! And why didn't you tell us?"

"You didn't ask."

"Well, did they say why they were seeing him?" Howard asked.

"Don't worry. Amy told me it was on a scientific basis."

"So, why was Penny there?" Leonard asked.

"They were going to the mall after." Sheldon told him.

"Dude, Penny would never sit through a science thing just to go shopping after. She gets too sleepy." Raj reminded him.

"Are you saying Amy _ lied_ to me?" Sheldon asked.

Raj patted his shoulder. "I'm afraid so, dude."

"I think," Sheldon announced, trying and failing to keep the tremor of disappointment out of his voice. "That we'd better ask our significant others why they've lied to us."

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The three women sighed with relief when they finally got to Apartment 4B. Finally, a chance to to rest!

"Those stairs are ridiculous." Amy stated to the other two.

Bernadette mumbled in reply and started massaging one of her feet. The pregnancy had left her out of breath.

"When are the boys coming back?" Penny asked, having taken a glug of orange juice.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Girls!"

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Girls!"

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Girls!"

"Wow, Sheldon sounds upset." Amy remarked. "I wonder what it is."

"Amy Farrah Fowler! You lied to me!"

"Penny, what the hell.."

"You met up with him?!"

Raj quickly wedged himself between the three couples. "Guys, guys! Calm down. There is a delicate foetus in the room." He pointed at Bernadette's expanding womb.

"Amy, I can't believe you lied to me. Again. Do you understand how _hurtful_ it is? Particularly in the fact that we all know I can't tell when people lie."

"Sheldon..."

"I don't understand. If you'd _ honestly_ explained why you wanted to meet him..."

"It's not Amy's fault." Bernadette told Sheldon. "If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. It was my idea to try and meet him."

"Why?" Howard asked.

"I was curious, Howie. I mean..he's the man who's made you who you are..."

"No." Howard ran his hands over his eyes, trying to dry the tears that were forming. "He has _nothing_ to do with me, OK? He's not made me who I am. My mother has."

"Leonard, I'm so.." Penny tried. She was stopped by Leonard holding up his hands.

"Just, don't, Penny. Come on, guys."

**That's that for this week, folks! Next weekend will have them making up with Lenny, Shamy and Rostenowitz galore! Hope you all enjoyed and feel free to drop a review!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	10. The Embracial Reconstruction

Raj had stayed with them as long as he could, swapping between the three, trying desperately to get them to talk to each other. In the end, he'd had to go for Cinnamon, but promised he'd be back first thing the next morning. Howard didn't want to go back to his apartment and asked if he could stay the night.

It was 2AM and Leonard couldn't sleep. Fortunately it was the weekend. He didn't have work, but things kept going around his head. Why? Why had Penny snuck off to meet his dad? Why didn't she just tell him? Why did she want to? OK, a part of him knew the answer to that question, but it kept popping up. Sighing, he got out of his bed and went to the living room area. Maybe they had some sleeping pills.  
On his way to the kitchen, he became very aware of the sleeping form on his couch. He felt curious. What characteristics did he and Wolowitz share? Padding over, he stood over him, looking down.

They both had pale skin. But Sheldon was pale too, so that was moot. They both had dark hair, but all four of them did. They had similar taste in women. They were both vertically challenged. That was pretty much it off the top of his head. He slowly exhaled. Howard stirred.

"The hell are you doing?"

"I was...watching you."

"Why?"

"I was wondering what you and I've got in common."

"We share a father. Isn't that enough?"

"I know we do. I was curious."

"So were the girls." Howard remarked.

Leonard ignored this. "Do you want anything?"

"I'm alright. Hey," he propped himself up on his elbows. "Are you mad?"

"With who?"

"The girls."

Leonard sighed. "I dunno. I mean I wish they didn't do that without asking, but I know why they did. Also, I'm a_ little_ curious about what was said."

"Me, too. I'll call Bernie tomorrow. I can't stay away from her for very long, not with the pregnancy."

"OK."

"How about you?"

"I'll see Penny. We _should_ talk about it, really."

"What d'you think will happen with the Shamy?"

"I think they'll be OK. I don't think Sheldon would ever let her go."

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Amy didn't know what to do with herself. For now, she was curled up on her olive green couch, hugging her knees to her chest. She hadn't bothered getting dressed and was still in her silky blue nightgown. She felt as though she'd really blown it with Sheldon. Waves, no tsunamis, of regret washed over her.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Amy?"

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Amy?"

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Amy?"

Wishing she'd gotten dressed, Amy ran to the door. "Sheldon?"

"Hello."

"I thought you would never speak to me again."

"I wasn't going to. But I heard Wolowitz and Leonard talking at 2:11 AM about our relationship and they said something that was very true."

"What did they say?"

"That they didn't think I'd ever let you go. I thought about what they'd said and it's true. You are my t'hy'la."

"Is..isn't that the Vulcan term for..."

"Lover, yes. Although we haven't engaged in coitus yet."

"Oh, my..." _Yet? _

"The point I'm making is, although I'm upset that you lied, again, I don't want us to break up."

"I understand. Sheldon, I'm really sorry I hurt you."

"I forgive you." He pressed his chest against hers and wrapped his arms around her body, in an attempt to hug her as a show of his forgiveness.

"Would you like to get brunch?" Amy asked, her voice slightly muffled from where her mouth was pressed against Sheldon's surprisingly firm abs.

"I can't. I don't eat brunch. We could go see the new Star Wars movie. It's got _40 seconds_ of additional footage."

Amy plastered a smile on her face. "Sounds wonderful."

"I know." Sheldon was smiling broadly. "Go on and get dressed, I'll wait for you!"

* * *

Bernadette looked into the lilac depths of her jasmine tea. She knew Howard would never abandon her and the baby, but she felt so nervous, she thought she would throw up. Or maybe that was the morning sickness talking. Either way, she knew she'd royally screwed up things.  
She heard keys jangling at the door. She held her breath and sighed in relief when she saw it was Howie.

"Hey."

He didn't say anything, but stood looking at her for a while. "Hello."

"I'm really..."

"Why didn't you just say? All you had to do was say 'I want to meet my father in law' and I would've been OK with it. I wouldn't be happy, but I'd..." He sighed, frustrated.

"It's not that easy!"

"Actually, it is. I'd tell you."

"Really? _Would_ you?!"

"Yes!"

"I didn't want you to get upset with me."

"I'm more upset that you went behind my back! Did you honestly think I'd never find out?"

"I was _ hoping_ you _wouldn't_."

"God, we are going to be parents soon, we can't _do_ stuff like this."

She was gripping the handle of her mug so tightly it hurt. "Like what?"

"Like lying and not trusting each other!"

"You don't trust me?"

"I do, but not as much!"

Something snapped. One moment the mug was on the table, the next thing she'd aimed it at her husband's head. He ducked so fast, she thought he was passing out. It smashed against the wall and little amethyst-purple droplets slid down it.  
Bernadette couldn't believe it. She was better, how could this have happened again? She ran her hands over her face, pushing her glasses up to her forehead. Was this the type of mother she was going to be? An angry one?  
When she looked up, he was nowhere to be seen. He was gone.

* * *

Penny wriggled her feet out of her hideous work shoes and tugged off the white stockings. Going to her wardrobe, she allowed herself to become lost in her clothes. Anything to block out the guilt and shame of upsetting her boyfriend.  
She kept finding items of clothing that reminded her of him. The clothes she'd worn on their first date, the clothes she'd worn when they'd first had sex... she found the new dress she'd bought yesterday. She'd planned on it being a surprise for him. She hadn't tried it on yet, so she peeled off the work outfit and slipped on the pink dress.  
It came up to her knees and looked good. Classy, but hot. Leonard would've loved it.  
She heard the door being knocked and hurried to answer it in case it was him.

Leonard blinked at her ensemble. "Are you going out?"

"No. Come in."

"Look," Leonard said once the door had been closed. "I know why you and the other two wanted to see him. But if you'd told me, I wouldn't have been happy, but I would've...I wouldn't have _guilted_ you out of going."

"I know. I just didn't want to make you sad. You would've done the same, right?"

"In honesty, no. I want us to have an honest relationship."

"I'm really sorry. I know it was wrong to go behind your back."

"I know you meant the best, but that was the worst thing you could've done." He felt like a massive prick saying it to her, especially when her eyes started filling with tears. "Aw, Penny."

He pulled her against him and she buried her head in his shoulder. "'m sorry, Leonard."

"It's OK. Don't cry, I love you." He pulled away from her and kissed her on her temple. She gradually got her breathing slowed down and gave him a watery smile.

"I love you, too."

* * *

Penny wanted to have a bath, so he decided he might as well go home and get some game-time in. Just as he was about to unlock the apartment door, Leonard heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Turning around, he was surprised to see his half-sibling, looking for all the world as though he'd had the planet Jupiter placed on his tiny shoulders.

"Hey. Have you seen Bernadette?"

He nodded. Leonard began to worry. What had happened to him?

"What happened?"

"..She threw a mug of jasmine tea at my head."

"Why?"

"We started arguing and I kind of told her I don't trust her as much."

"Well, what did she expect?"

Howard shook his head. "I don't know."

Leonard put an arm around his shoulders. Howard took this as a cue to wrap his arms around his half-sibling. Wishing that this show of affection could have at least taken place in the privacy of the apartment, Leonard returned the embrace.

**You have no idea how difficult this was. The other parts were OK, it was just this stupid hugging bit, that me in all my sentimentality just _ had_ to put in. I am planning on writing a sex scene later on. How can I do that when writing about hugs is so hard? (Pun only slightly intended)  
Oh, well, we had what we came here for, but not the Rostenowitz, because I'm a mean little bitch who likes to torture her favourite characters . If you liked it, please let me know why, but as always, I just hope you've all really enjoyed it!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	11. The Engagement Revelation

Checking her boyfriend was nowhere in sight, Penny flipped open her laptop. Now that danger was well averted, she could get back to looking at ring designs. Nothing too expensive, nothing too tacky, she wanted something just right. Something he wouldn't be ashamed of wearing. She scrolled down, looking at the various styles. She wished she knew what kind of ring he wanted, but she wanted it to be kept a surprise.  
She was interrupted by a knock at the door. Half closing the lid, she called the visitor in.

"Oh, hi. Where's Bernadette?"

"She's at home."

"Aw. Haven't you guys made up?"

"Not yet. Have you got any coffee?"

"Yeah, it's in the cupboard."

She went back to her ring searching, deciding Howard probably wouldn't try and look over her shoulder. She was wrong.

"Why are you looking at rings?"

"For God's sake!" she snapped the lid down and turned to glare at him. "It's none of your business. And didn't anyone tell you it's rude to look over people's shoulders?"

"Well, you've not been polite either!" he retorted. He reached over for the computer and flipped the screen back up to have a look. "Are you gonna _propose_?"

"Don't tell _anyone_." she warned.

"I won't. Hey, you should try and get him a ring like the Green Lantern's."

"I'm _not_ doing that."

"OK. Uh..how about this one?"

"It's like nine hundred dollars!"

"Actually, it's $899.99."

"Funny. I don't know what he'd like!"

"OK, he likes silver more than gold."

"How d'you know that?"

"Have you ever seen him wear gold? From personal choice?"

"He wears the medallion I got him for Christmas."

Howard ignored this. "And he probably wouldn't wear anything _really_ sparkly."

"I figured that. OK. So, what do you think?"

"Alright, don't go getting him a really _wide_ one, he's not got very long fingers."

"Right."

"What do you think of this one?" Howard asked, pointing at a plain band.

"It's boring."

"OK. This one?"

"I'm not getting him something with a brown jewel on it."

"Fair enough. Um..how about that?"

"The turquoise is kind of a gross colour."

"True. That one?"

"The pattern's kinda cool." Penny admitted. "But I don't see myself proposing with it, you know?"

"I see. What about that one?" He pointed at a ring with leaf patterns surrounding a little green gem.

"What about it?"

"It's like the Ring of Barahir. From Lord of the Rings."

"Huh."

"The one Aragorn wears?"

"Oh."

"It looks like it _ could_ be an engagement ring. And it's only $350."

Penny shut her eyes. She tried to imagine proposing to Leonard with it. She felt right about this one. Opening her eyes, she smiled. "OK! Hey, what's his ring size?"

"Just get a medium."

"Alright." She clicked the Buy button. "Thanks."

"It's cool."

"So, have you actually talked to Bernadette yet?"

"Yeah. We argued and she threw her purple tea crap at my head."

"Hey! It's good crap. It helps the baby keep calm."

"What's the baby got to worry about?"

"I don't know." Penny replied. " Howard, we know you're both pissed at him, but we think he's ill."

"Good. I hope he suffers."

Penny looked at him, eyebrows raised. "Really?"

Howard's eyes dropped from hers. "No. Despite everything, it would be cool to make up."

"Sweetie, I don't know for sure, but I don't think he's got a lot of time left. It's why he wants to make up with you. And Leonard."

Howard remembered the coffee he still held. "I'd better get back to 4A. See you soon."

"Bye."

* * *

It was always safer to do things on the telephone. Sure, it could be misconstrued as cowardly, but at that point, he really didn't give a damn.

"Hi, Howie!"

Howard heard her breathlessness and felt slightly worried. "Are you OK? You sound out of breath."

"I had to run. I left my phone in the living room."

"Oh. I'm sorry I said I don't trust you. I do, I was just..sorry."

"I'm sorry I threw a mug at your head."

"At least it didn't hit me. Look, you couldn't come over to Los Robles, could you?"

"Sure. Why?"

"I wanna discuss something with Leonard and...I need you."

"OK. Love you."

"Love you too."

'_Damn_,' Howard thought. '_This is probably gonna_ suck.'

**What's gonna suck and why would it? Update will probably be a fortnight away at most, I promise! As always, reviews are welcome and I hope you enjoyed. Peace out!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	12. The Discussion Decision

Bernadette was panting so hard by the time she got up the stairs, Howard was afraid she'd go into labour. She assured him she wouldn't and then questioned the nature of what he needed to discuss with Leonard.

"Penny told me our... father might be ill."

"He looked ill, but it's probably nothing. "

"I know, but if it isn't.." he trailed off, not wanting to think of the possible outcome.

"I know." She found his hand and clasped it tight, smiling in a sad fashion up at him. "Let's go in."

Leonard looked up in surprise at the two spouses. "Oh, hey! Wasn't expecting you."

"Hi." Bernadette greeted.

She looked at her husband who seemed lost for words. He glanced at her and then back at his brother. She realized that he didn't want to tell him the true purpose of their visit. Feeling that this was something he'd have to do himself, she kept her lips sealed.

"What is it?" Leonard asked. At Howard's startled expression, he added. "Yes, you are that obvious."

Before Howard could answer, the door was knocked three times before being opened and having a blonde head peek around it. Penny understood the situation immediately. Not wanting to delay the inevitable, she walked to the couch and took a seat.

"Um..well. They think Dad's dying." Howard blurted out.

"Why?" Leonard asked.

"We didn't say that!" Penny hissed. "We said he _looked ill_."

"You know what can happen with illness!" Howard shot back.

"OK, I very much doubt he's dying." Leonard said. "But, just to be sure, how did he look ill?"

"He was really pale. He looked exhausted like he hadn't gotten any sleep in a while. He was breathing quite shallow. He was really thin, like you could actually see the bones in his hands. He was wearing soft-looking shoes like his feet were swelling up." Bernadette recalled.

"He could barely stand. And he had, like, a bluish tinge to the corner of his lip." Penny pointed out. "Guys, I really don't think he's well."

"It doesn't sound good." Howard agreed. Looking at his sibling, he murmured. "I think we should go see him."

"After what he did? You're willing to see him?"

"Well, if he's so ill. He's not gonna be around forever. Remember what he said to us? He was getting old and he said..."

"'I probably won't be around much longer.'. Yeah, I remember."

"He was a bastard, but we can't let him go like that. We'll regret it and so will he."

"I know that." Leonard agreed. "I just can't believe he could be dying. As stupid as this is gonna sound, I genuinely thought he'd live forever."

Penny vacated her seat and went to wrap her arms around her boyfriend. "I'm sorry, honey."

He held onto her, rubbing his cheek against her soft, golden hair. "i guess I'd better call him."

**I think this is the first chapter in the story without the words 'sigh' or 'sighed' in it! I really do! A miracle has occurred! So, they're gonna meet Papa Hofstadter again next chapter. Let's hope it'll ****be better than the last time! Hey, you guys couldn't do me a favour and try and inform me of notable interactions between Leonard and Howard, could you? Only, I do find it helps, but I only know of one and that occurs in Season One Episode Sixteen, The Peanut Reaction (what an episode that was!). No pressure, but it would help a little bit!**

**As always I hope you enjoyed and reviews are welcome!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	13. The Carcinoma Discovery

"I can't believe we're doing this again." Howard told Leonard.

"Me neither, but here we are. Personally, I can't believe we're not here with the girls."

Bernadette had pointed out that it would probably be better if it was just the two of them with him. Something about it being easier for Nathan to tell people he knew about his illness. In fairness, he didn't know their significant others very well. Perhaps she was right.

"Well, they saw him without us." Howard rationalized.

"I guess that's one way to look at it."

"Do you think he's really ill?"

Leonard didn't know what to say. "Well, it could be a possibility."

Howard shook his head. "First time I've seen him in twenty years and he could be sick."

"Don't say that. He's probably just fine"

"Sorry. What time did he say he'd be here?"

"Eleven."

There was silence, neither speaking as the seconds kept ticking by. It was crazy. They were both terrified, and as the time went on, both wished they'd persuaded their special women to be with them. Both were so lost in thought, that before they knew it, the door was being knocked. He was here again.

* * *

"_Lenny, will you marry_..no."

Penny glared at the ring she had clenched in her fist. It wasn't the ring's fault, but _dammit_! She didn't know how to ask him. Well, she knew saying 'Lenny' was out of the question. Oh, well. It was a start.  
Once again, she sat down and faced where Leonard would be sitting once she asked.

"_Leonard, I love you. Will you marr-_? No."

There was so much more to say. But she didn't want to to be so long he got bored. Not that he'd show it.

"OK. _Leonard , you are my soul mate and I never want to be apart..._ Oh, blech!"

She didn't want to ask by saying something too soppy, it'd embarrass them both. She tried to think of something. Something Raj often said popped into her head. "Follow your heart." Well, her heart was telling her a lot of things right now. She shut her eyes and tried to concentrate. Slowly, an idea began to chip through. She placed the ring back in its box and quickly exited her apartment.

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Stuart hadn't had anyone come in all day. He was thinking about closing up, when he was pleasantly surprised by Penny coming in.

"Oh, hi. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Look, I could really use your amazing art skills."

"Sure."

"OK, I was wondering if you could do a picture of Leonard and me."

"OK."

"I know he likes Stanley, so-"

"Stanley?"

"Yeah, Stan-ley."

"Wait, Stan Lee or Stanley?"

"The comic book guy!"

"Oh, Stan Lee."

"That's who I said." Penny told him, feeling he was going crazy. "Anyway, could you draw it in his style?"

"I'll try my best."

"Thanks. Hey, can you put at the bottom 'Will you marry me?'"

"Oh, you're proposing?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, congrats!"

"It's a surprise, so..."

"I won't tell anyone." Stuart promised.

Penny leaned across the counter to hug him. "Thank you."

"It's OK. Good luck!"

* * *

"You got to meet the ladies, huh?" Leonard didn't know what else to say.

"Yeah. They're lovely girls. Boys, I've got something to tell you."

"What's wrong?" Leonard questioned.

"I've got a problem with the cells in my heart. They're abnormal cells which are multiplying too fast and there's nothing the doctors can do."

"Does Mother know?" Leonard asked.

"Yeah."

Leonard desperately wanted to ask, even yell, why she hadn't thought to tell him. But now wasn't the time.

"How...how long do you have?" Howard asked.

"Six months."

"I'm sorry, Father." Leonard whispered.

"It's not your fault. The main reason I came back was to make up with you. I was a bad father, I know apologising won't make up for it, but I am really sorry."

* * *

"So, did you forgive him?" Bernadette asked.

"Well, yeah. What else could I do?"

"I guess. Heart cancer. That's awful."

"It's kind of ironic. My mom used to call him heartless." Howard sighed heavily. "I wonder what she'd say if she knew."

"You're not going to tell her, are you?"

"No. Well, I dunno. If this was us, would you want to know?"

"Yeah. I'm all for revenge, but I'd never want anyone to die alone."

"I just don't want her to be upset."

"Try not to think of it now. You've had a long day."

Howard's eyes caught sight of Bernadette's bump. Laying a hand on it, he asked his wife. "Do you think it'd be cool to invite him to our next sonogram?"

Bernadette interlaced his hands with hers. "That'd be sweet."

* * *

"Jeez, _heart cancer?!_ That _sucks_!" Penny said.

"I know."

"I'm sorry, sweetie."

She left the pasta she was stirring and went to offer him a hug.

"We couldn't not forgive him, you know? I mean, we couldn't."

"Hey, it's OK. Maybe he'll beat it."

"It's terminal. Apparently he had better things to do, rather than getting his health checked."

"Well, you have six months to rebuild your relationship. That's something, right?"

"I guess." Leonard admitted begrudgingly. "It'd be nice if he could be alive a little longer, that's all. I wanted him to live to see our kids."

"We could name our son after him."

"What if we have a daughter?"

"We'll call her... Nathalie!"

"Nathalie Hofstadter." Leonard tried it out. "That's cute."

"Yeah." She unwrapped her arms from around her boyfriend and went to check on the pasta. "We're going to be OK, alright?"

"OK. I love you."

"I love you too."

**Chances are you'll have to wait two weeks for an update. One of my favourite people is coming down next weekend, so probably won't be an option. Thanks for the reviews and hope you've enjoyed!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	14. The Opuscule Ascertainment

The nurse raised an eyebrow at the two couples and the elderly man they had brought with them. "You are _all_ family?"

"Yeah." Penny nodded her head. "I'm the baby's aunt, this is the baby's uncle..."

"_Immediate_ family only." The nurse said.

"We are immediate family!" Penny snapped back.

"Fine. Just stay out of the way."

Penny made a face at the nurse's turned back and stepped nearer her boyfriend. Howard went to where Bernadette was lying and took her hand, smiling down at her.

"You OK?"

"Yep. Can't believe we're going to see our baby!"

"What sex do you guys want?" Penny asked.

"Don't know." Bernadette replied, idly stroking her bump.

"It's going to be a girl." Nathan revealed. "Girls are always born first in the family."

The door opened and a smiling doctor entered the room. "Hi, I'm Dr. Ginche." She stood by the monitor that was by the hospital bed. "I know you've had this done before, but I'm going to remind you of the procedure. Now, I'm going to place a gel on your stomach and once it's settled, I'm going to place this over your baby." She held up the wand thing.

"Thanks." Bernadette gasped as the icy cold fluid was spread over her stomach. "I'll never get used to that!"

Ginche smiled and turned her attention to the monitor. "You'll be able to see your child soon."

At that, the group stepped forward. Dr. Ginche pressed the wand over Bernadette's womb and moved so they could see the baby. At first there was nothing. And then there was a flicker. And there it was. It looked more human than in the photo Howard and Bernadette had.

"If Sheldon was here," Leonard whispered to Penny. "He'd tell us what sex it is."

"I just told you what sex it is." Nathan reminded his elder son.

"I'm just saying, he'd tell us anyway."

Turning to Nathan, Howard asked. "What were you thinking when you first saw us on the screen?"

"'Oh, look, my kid's on TV'."

Ginche laughed. "That's one way to look at it! Would you like a photo of your baby?"

"Yeah, please."

"Do you want to find out your baby's gender?"

"We kinda want it to be a surprise." Bernadette explained. "Thanks, anyway."

* * *

"Where's your car?" Howard asked Nathan.

"I don't drive anymore. I shake too much. I just take the bus now."

"Come on. We'll drive you home." Bernadette told him.

"I don't want to impose.."

"It's fine," Howard told him. "Come on!"

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"_This_ is where you _live_?" Bernadette looked at the run-down apartments in horror.

"It's not that bad!" Nathan defended. "There's good people and it's reasonably clean."

"OK." Bernadette wasn't convinced, but was too tired to argue. The pregnancy was making her head spin.

* * *

"I remember this." Howard held up a miniature globe stand. "I used to play with this when I was a kid."

"You tried to swallow it twice. On the second attempt you succeeded. Beulah and I thought you were going to die."

Howard smiled at the memory."We'll have to keep it away from the baby."

Nathan froze as his son discovered his bookshelf and started reading the spines.

"Ah, _Needy Baby, Greedy Baby_. Heh. Leonard would kill me if I read it. _Life of an Illegitimate Child_?" Howard looked at Nathan. "What's that about?"_  
_

Nathan shot out of his seat. "That's not important."

Howard wasn't listening. "By Nathan Hofstadter. Cool."

He reached for it, but was stopped by his father's hand lightly closing around his wrist. "It's a _really_ boring book. You wouldn't be interested."

"What's it about?"

"There was a study a long time ago and I was asked to write about it."

"What was the study about?"

Before Nathan could answer, his daughter-in-law appeared. "Howie. We'd better go."

"Alright."

Relieved his son wouldn't be able to ask any more questions about it, Nathan accompanied them back to their car. Hopefully that book wouldn't be brought up again.

"Oh, crap, I forgot my purse."

"The door's not locked, dear." Nathan informed her.

Bernadette ran back into the apartment as fast as her bump would allow her and found her purse by the bookshelf. Standing up, her eyes picked out a black book with a shiny, silver title.

"_Life of an Illegitimate Child_?" Thinking it sounded like a good read, Bernadette picked it up and went back out.

"Can I borrow this?" She showed him the book.

Nathan wasn't really concentrating. He saw the black cover and thought she'd picked up another book. "Of course."

"Thanks." She gave him a hug and stuffed the book into her purse. "See you soon."

"Bye." As he waved his son and daughter-in-law off, Nathan felt more and more grateful Howard hadn't read that book.

**Yay! I got some unexpected writing time! So, what is _Life of an Illegitimate Child _about? Why didn't Nathan want Howard to read it? Will the baby be a boy or a girl? When will Penny propose? Hope you enjoyed!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	15. The Maternal Revelation

Bernadette retrieved the book from its unassuming little spot on their bookcase. Since hearing about their father's impending death, her husband and his brother-in-law had been dividing their time between their significant others and him. Sometimes that mean she was on her own. She didn't mind that.. Sometimes it was nice to get some time to herself. She flipped open the book and was promptly interrupted by a knock at the door.  
_  
_

Placing it down, she answered the door to be greeted by her mother-in-law. Beulah beamed at her pregnancy bump and asked what time Howard would be back.

"Not for an hour or two I think."

"Oh." Beulah saw the little black book. "What's this?"

"A book I borrowed."

She was boiling the kettle. If she'd turned around a few moments earlier, she would have seen the older woman open the book and then crumple. As it was, when she did turn around, she saw Beulah, white-faced and shaking.

"What is it?"

"He's back, isn't he?"

"Who?"

"His..._him." _Beulah pointed at the little name at the bottom of the cover. Bernadette was amazed. She'd not noticed the name when she'd found it.

"I didn't he wrote fiction."

"This isn't fiction." Beulah was crying at this point. "This is every ferkakta thing that bastard did to my baby."

"Mrs. Wolowitz..."

"Miss."

"What?" Bernadette's head was spinning. "I...what do you mean?"

"I was a waitress near Princeton when I was young. He was a professor who worked at the university and he'd come in for coffee everyday..."

**_Thirty Years Ago_**

_Beulah looked in concern at the older male who'd just come in. "What's the matter with you?"_

_"My wife."_

_"Oh." She knew they'd been having problems. "What'd she do this time?"_

_"She's just so cold. I tried to hug her this morning and she just would not have it."_

_She picked up his white cup and refilled it. "I don't get that woman. If you were my husband I'd not let you walk out the door without a kiss."_

_Nathan smiled. "You're an amazing woman, B."_

_She took the milk jug off the tray and was surprised by his hand closing over hers. "What're you doing?"_

_"When does your shift end?"_

_She narrowed her eyes. "You're a married man."_

_"I just want to spend time with a friendly woman."_

_"No getting romantic?"_

_"None at all."_

_She considered him. "I end in 10 minutes."_

_Three hours later_

_"That was interesting." Nathan slurred._

_"Just say you had fun."_

_"Alright. That was very fun."_

_She looked into his dark blue eyes and then blushed. He gently cupped her face. "Whazza matter?"_

_"Nothing."_

_He slowly brought his face to hers and suddenly they were kissing. She was so caught up, she forgot he had a wife, she forgot her morals and they began growing more and more passionate until Nathan scooped her up and deposited her in the back seat of his car. He tore off her blouse and gazed fondly at her large breasts. He fumbled around until he was able to slip it off and took a handful. She lay back, looking up at the professor and pulled him down for another kiss. She could feel his thrusting and pulled down the zipper of her skirt so he could gain access. He didn't notice and kept kissing her, touching her until she got impatient.  
_

_"Nathan...I'm ready.."_

_"I'm the king of foreplay."_

_"Yeah, well hurry up, your Highness."_

_He slipped his hand down her silk panties. She groaned in pleasure and realised that he was still clothed. She unbuckled his belt and tore his jeans down. She saw Nathan Jr and a wicked idea came to light. She started running her fingernails up and down it's length, looking it's owner in the eye._

_"Oh God, Beulah..."_

_"You might be the king, but I'm the queen."_

_They kept it up, trying to outdo each other (_Pun very much intended) _until both lost their patience. Beulah grabbed hold of his shoulders as his erection started to explore her love pocket. They were lost in their world of passion. Neither expected that this pleasure could ever have any repercussion._

**_30 Days Later_**

_"I'm pregnant." Beulah whispered to Nathan as she poured the dark brown liquid._

_"How far gone?"_

_"A month."_

_"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"_

_"You've been avoiding me! Look, I've been waiting for an abortion appointment."_

_Nathan gagged on the beverage. "What?!"_

_"I got as far as the door. I'll be telling my family soon."_

_"I see."_

_"Look, I know you have a wife, but I really need you."_

_"I'll be there. I promise."_

_Eleven Years Later_

_Beulah sighed at the mess Nathan had left in his study. He'd gone back to New Jersey for a work thing. They moved to Altadena a while back, so she could be close to her family. She glanced at the papers. Then something caught her eye. After reading through them, she had to sit down._

_"I'm home!"_

_"In here." Beulah called. It was midnight, their son was sleeping and she'd laid out the papers on the coffee table. He came in and saw. He blanched._

_"Beulah, I can..."_

_"_'I told my wife that I'd fathered another child. She pointed out that since she was three months pregnant, we could compare the two children based on differing parenting techniques.'_"_

_"Look.."_

_"You were having another child at the same time I was, you never left her, you never told me you'd already had a kid before we slept together and now I understand why you were beating on my son all these years! Listen, _'the illegitimate child is withdrawn and quiet due to physical pain from the father, while the other child is outgoing in comparison despite having an emotionally distant mother. This could suggest that male parentage has a large impact on how a child develops.'"

"_I.."_

_"You stop this! This is sick! How can you have done this to a _child _?!"_

_"I can't stop now! He's just starting puberty!"_

_"Either you stop or you get out of our lives!"_

_Nathan didn't skip a beat. He snatched up his papers and went upstairs. She could hear him ripping his clothes out of the wardrobe and stuffing them inside something. _

_He didn't even say goodbye._

**_The Present_**

Bernadette didn't know what to say. All she could really do was hold Beulah's hand.

"We never married. He said he wasn't keen on the idea and back then, neither was I." Beulah explained.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I should never have slept with him. Not while he was married." Beulah dabbed her eyes. "Why'd he come back?"

"He actually came back to see Leonard."

"The boy with glasses is Nathan's? He must take after his mother."

"Well, he's not like his mother."

"Don't tell my son." Beulah pleaded.

"I won't."

Beulah pulled her into a grateful embrace. Bernadette found herself touching her bump, where her son or daughter was peacefully lying. She caught sight of the clock and untangled herself from her mother-in-law to hide the book under the couch. Moments later Howard came back, almost jumping at the unexpected sight of his mother.

Beulah pretended not to notice. She vacated her seat and greeted her son with a hug. Howard was surprised by the firmness his mother held onto him with, but figured it had something to do with Bernadette's pregnancy. As Bernadette watched them, she reminded herself that she really should destroy the book.

**Beulah's figured out that Howard was visiting his dad. So, I was originally gonna have little snippets of the chapters, but they didn't make sense, so I regrouped. I looked at pictures of puppies and came up with this. Hope you enjoyed!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	16. The Paternal Reassurance

**It occurred to me that I have been neglecting certain characters. And by 'certain characters', I mean characters that aren't Howard Wolowitz. I'm sorry. I've always had a problem with this sort of thing and from now on I will do my damnedest to be more fair.**

The weeks that followed the discovery of Nathan's book were two of the busiest Bernadette had ever known. About twenty of Howard's relatives had flown in from Israel, their mothers had decided to try and force them into choosing a name, and she had been so busy she'd had to buy more bump accommodating clothing online, all of which didn't fit. She certainly didn't have time to destroy the book, so had hidden it underneath the couch, hoping he wouldn't look there. As she flung the too-tight sweater on the ground, seriously considering just walking around naked for the rest of the pregnancy, her husband smiled.

"It's not funny, Howie."

"I'm not laughing at you!" he protested. He walked over to her and put his arms around her.

"Why were you smiling then?"

"It looked cute with your stomach showing." He trailed his fingers over her belly, lingering over where their child was laying.

"I really need to go out." she sighed.

"So, go out."

"I'm busy. You try picking out a name that'll make everyone happy."

"We've got 5 months!"

"Do you know how desperate people are for me to have a name ready?"

"Fine, _I'll_ pick a name."

She eyed him doubtfully. "I'm not sure."

"Look, go out, relax, and by the time you've come back , I will have chosen the perfect name."

"Alright. I'm off work this weekend. I'll call the girls and ask them if they want to come out."

* * *

He liked the name Luka. He put that on the name list Bernadette had left him. He also liked the name Adeline***. **He added that and wondered how Bernadette had found it difficult.

Ten minutes later and he had his answer. It was _boring_. He tapped his pencil against their table, wishing that babies came out with name tags attached and swore as it bounced out of his fingers and rolled under the couch. As he felt about for it, he felt a thick smooth object. Pulling it out, he was surprised to find the book from his father's place….

* * *

Leonard had always believed his father to be untouchable. Growing up, it was a fact of life that his father was the very epitome of Superman. Looking at him now, all he could see was a little, dying elderly man. He bit his lip, not wanting to appear weak to him. At least they had time to re-bond.  
He felt guilty, thinking of his father as weakened. But he was. The disease had eaten away at him, rendering him a shell of his former self. He heard Nathan say something and was jolted back into the present.

"What?"

"I said, 'what's the matter?'" Nathan repeated patiently. He tutted at Leonard's look of confusion. "You never were any good at hiding your emotions."

"Just thinking."

"What about?"

"Changes."

"They can be hard to get used to." Nathan acknowledged. "But they're a natural part of life."

"Do you _like_ change?"

"It has its merits."

"Is there really nothing the doctors can do?"

"Leonard, look at me."

He obeyed, trying to look into the deep blue of his father's eyes, rather than the almost transparent skin on his face.

"I'm open to anything as a man of science. If there was anything else, I'd be having it done. There is _nothing_.

He didn't say anything. He wanted to shriek, yell, like a child would, but he was a grown man and he didn't want to go upsetting Nathan. He jumped as papery skin connected with his own.

"No human is immortal." Nathan reminded him, not breaking his light grasp on his son's wrist.

"I need you. Who's going to show me how to bring up my children?"

Nathan gave a humourless laugh. "I was never a good parent. Besides, you'll find your own way of bringing up your children."

"I never thought that you'd …"

"I love you. I love your brothers and I love your sister. Making peace with you and your brother is all I needed to do before biting the dust. I'm ready to go."

"You love us?"

"Yes."

He didn't really know what to say. Intead he settled for turning his hand around so he was grasping his father's thumb. It felt starnge to be so adjacent to his father, but it felt right.

* * *

***Yeah, I know.**

**So, we have a PPA hater among us! Guest reviewer, I was very clear in the blurb "Leonard's life _isn't the only life he comes into_". Could I really have made it much clearer than that? For the love of the hedgehog in the baking tray, don't get pissy just becuase you read something wrong, because I _will_ go apes**t.  
Guys, I love writing about the importance of family, and the general closeness of people. TBBT is perfect for that! This is about Howard and Leonard finding out they share a dad. If you don't like it, that's fine. Just don't review saying how much it sucks because I am not above pressing the 'Block' button.  
OK, yeah, he was a bit quick to forgive, but his dad's his favourite. Read the TBBT Wiki if you don't believe me!  
In fairness, I do play favourites when it comes to charaters, so it'd be hypocritical of me to say Guest was completely wrong. He/she wasn't. It's been focusing on Howard and everyone too much and Leonard _was_ listed as character B. **

**I hope you enjoyed! CONSTRCUIVE criticism is very welcome! Have a good one!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	17. The Novel Revelation

**There is a golden rule in the UK. Never piss off the Welsh. I am Welsh. Someone has pissed me off. That someone knows who they are. That someone is a guest reviewer. I'm blocking guest reviews from now on. Sorry, guests, but there is a line. And, to that one guest, _bachau cant. Mun._**

Bernadette felt better having gotten some time for her and the girls. She placed her shopping bags down and blinked at the little black object on the coffee table. Her heart started beating rapidly. _Had Howie seen it?_

"Howard?"

She bit her lip, worriedly. Either he was hiding or he'd gone to confront Nathan. She went into their bedroom, hoping to see him, but was not surprised when he wasn't there. She went back into their living room and noticed a piece of paper. Walking over, she saw that he had been looking at baby names. On the very top of the list, crossed out was the name Nathan. She sighed. He was probably at his dad's by now.

* * *

Nathan was surprised to see his second youngest at his door. To his concern, he looked upset.

"What's wrong, son?"

"I read your book."

Nathan couldn't believe his ears. He didn't know what to say. Eventually, he mumbled, "I told you not to read it."

The words had barely left his mouth when his son exploded. "You are sick! You screwed us both up just to appease your wife! How could you do that?"

"I didn't want to lose her."

"You cheated on her! Twice!"

"I know, but..."

"But _what? _You pretty much _tortured _ your own kids!"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You're _sorry?!"_

He was getting upset again. Damn, he was _pissed_. Nathan had never seen him like it before and it scared him. He couldn't lose him now.

"I regret it. If I could go back in time and not do what I did to you, I would."

"Well, you can't!" He'd fought a lot with his mother, but was shaking when arguing with his father. "And why didn't you write more?"

"I was scared your mother might tell you what happened."

"You were scared? How do you think I felt? I was _eleven_ years old and suddenly I had a depressed mother to care for."

"I'm sorry." Nathan said, feeling more and more helpless.

"Did you know that I was the only Jewish kid who didn't have his father at his bar mitzvah?"

"No, I didn't. I'm sorry."

"When I was 14 I needed a blood transfusion. All because you never taught me to shave."

Nathan eyed the floor. "I'm sorr-"

"Stop saying that!"

"Well, what do you want me to say?" Nathan asked, starting to feel exasperated.

"Nothing. I am done with you." Howard stepped back from the door. "I've got a baby on the way and when it's born, you're not seeing him or her. I don't want anything else to do with you. I definitely don't want my baby having anything to do with you."

* * *

He felt like the world's biggest jackass as he drove home. Yes, Nathan had done some pretty despicable things, but he was dying. Was it too harsh to say he'd never see his grandchild? He'd at least seen Leonard's - their sister's babies, Howard supposed. He sighed. He didn't know what to do. He turned up the radio, trying to drown out his thoughts.

_He can't remember **/** The times that he thought **/** Does my daddy love me? **/** Probably not **/** That didn't stop him **/** From wishing that he did **/** Didn't keep him from wanting **/** Or worshipping him_

Ah, this song. He'd discovered it in '04 during a particularly bad year of missing Nathan. Even now it made his eyes stung.

I_ love you this much _**/**_And I'm waiting on you _**/**_To make up your mind _**/**_Do __you love me too?_

_He grew to hate him for what he had done_ **/**_ Cause what kind of father Could do that to his son?_ **/**_ He said 'damn you daddy' _ **/ **The_ day that he died_ **/**_ The man didn't blink_**/** **/**_ But the little boy cried_

He pressed blindly at the radio. He didn't want to listen to this song anymore. He just wanted to go home and pretend that the past two months had been a dream. A really weird, horrible dream.

* * *

"What's wrong?" Penny asked, walking into the apartment, heldon close behind her. Bernadette shook her head from where she was kneeling on the floor. She'd only called Penny to see if she or Leonard knew where Howard was. Leonard was out, buying groceries, but the taller woman somehow gleaned the truth from her, that something bad had, in fact happened.

"Are you upset?" Sheldon wanted to know.

"Of course she's upset!" Penny snapped. She put Bernadette's arm around his shoulder and helped her stand. Sheldon made his way to the kettle, not wanting to get coerced into giving physical comfort like his roommate's girlfriend seemed to be offering.

She wasn't crying or anything but she was scared. And furious with herself for not chucking the book out. She shielded the book with her hand as Penny tried to look at it.

"Is it to do with the book?" Penny asked.

She nodded. "Nathan wrote it."

Sheldon came her way, holding a cup of steaming liquid that smelt strongly of mint. He glanced at the book. "I've read that."

"How is it upsetting?" Penny asked.

"Well," Sheldon began.

"Don't!" Bernadette warned. "It's bad enough that Howard knows what's in it."

"Is he upset?" Sheldon asked.

"Probably." Bernadette replied.

"I don't see how he could be. Without that study, we'd be considerably less clued up on the positivity a father has on his child's life."

"Sheldon! How can you say that? Because of this both of them had a horrible childhood."

"No. Because of Dr. Nathan Hofstadter's inability to, 'keep it in his pants' , they had a 'horrible' childhood."

"OK, I'm reading this." Penny announced.

"No! You don't want to read it." Bernadette picked it up and took it to the kitchen area. She rummaged thorugh a drawer and found a pair of scissors.

Sheldon was horrified. "You can't do that! It's proof of one of the most important studies in anthropology!"

"It's also proof of my father in law playing favourites and beating on my husband just to get some stupid results!"

* * *

As he neared his and Bernadette's apartment, he heard raised voices. Was that Sheldon? What was going on? He opened the door and stared with interest at the scene before him.  
Bernadette had a book on the table and a pair of scissors in her hand, Sheldon was opposite her and arguing about 'you can't be serious' and Penny was watching the whole thing.

"Oh, _there_ you are." Penny said, as though he was a child that had wandered off.

Bernadette rubbed her hands on the book, staring Sheldon in the eyes. "Don't steal the book, Sheldon. I touched dirty laundry earlier and I haven't washed my hands."

Sheldon looked shattered. "You're an evil woman."

She slid her hands off the book and went to greet her baffled husband. "Where've you been?"

"I went to Nathan's."

"Did you read the book?"

He looked down and didn't answer. She touched his face tenderly. "I'm sorry, honey."

"What are they doing here?" Howard asked

"I thought they might know where you were."

"Oh."

"What was in the book?" Penny asked.

"It was all about how he treated us both differently to see how we'd develop mentally, physically.."

"I don't see how anyone could be upset over it." Sheldon told the room. "You were a part of the one most important anthropology experiments in the century."

"I can! Jeez, Sheldon, his conception was pretty much a random bit of luck for Nathan's career. Can't you imagine how much that sucks?" Penny said to him.

"Huh. It's a shame children aren't useful in the engineering field. It could give his career a boost." He either didn't see or didn't care about the dark looks headed his way, for he saw their clock and turned to Penny. "We have to go. I promised Amy I'd be at her apartment at 6."

Penny looked at Bernadette. The bespectacled woman smiled slightly. "Go on! We'll be OK." She squeezed her husband tightly.

**I gotta admit, that last flame made me laugh my arse off! 'You can't handle the truth!' Who are you, Jack Nicholson? Haha! Sorry, Guests, but you guys can't review unless you have an account. It's a case of Flame Me Anonomously Once, Shame On You, Flame Me Anonomusly Twice, Shame On You, Again. Not your faults, just the one cowardly little nipple.  
The song was I Love You This Much by Johnny Wayne. I don't own it, I don't own TBBT! Anyway, I hope you guys liked the story and reviews are welcome. Peace out, guys!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	18. The Aromatherapeutical Romance Event

Amy finished lighting the ylang ylang candles and started dabbing little drops of sandalwood oil where she and Sheldon would be sitting. Pasta was boiling, hot dogs were cut up, and there was a large bottle of YooHoo! on the table, as well as two other bottles of it in the this aromatherapy was, as Sheldon would say, 'hokum', but it was worth a shot. She'd been considering Sheldon for the last few days. Five months ago, he'd said that every man would, one day, want to engage in sexual intercourse. Three weeks ago, he'd said they hadn't had sex _yet_. Maybe it would help if she were to push things along a little...Not that she wanted to force him into things he wasn't ready for. The last thing she wanted to do was scare him. But, as she took out her outfit for that evening, she decided didn't want to be in her forties when she finally lost her virginity. This date wouldn't hurt him.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! "Amy?"

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! "Amy?"

She opened the door before he finished his customary knock. He tapped three times on the door, repeated her name and then stared, open-mouthed at his girlfriend.  
She'd found a flowing, white dress when she'd gone shopping with Bernadette. Upon seeing a broad gold belt, she'd gotten an idea of what to wear when Sheldon came over. Now, Sheldon was looking at his very own Princess Leia. Without the hair, that was.

"You look nice." she greeted, hoping he would say the same to her. She wasn't lying, he did look nice, just like he always did.

"I know." he replied.

Realising she probably wouldn't get a compliment, she pointed at the table. "Sit down, dinner's going to be served soon."

"Ah. Amy?"

"Yes?"

He pointed at the centrepiece of red roses. "Take those away. I don't want pollen in my food."

She'd been expecting that. She took them and placed them on the top of a chest and moved back to the kitchen.

Sheldon made an exclamation of delight. "Spaghetti with sliced miniature hot dogs !"

They were actually long hot dogs before Amy had cut them up, but he wasn't to know that. She sat opposite him and smiled. "Dig in."

He did, making little murmurs of appreciation that sent shivers up Amy's spine. "How was your day?"

He swallowed his mouthful. "The strangest thing happened at Bernadette's."

"Why were you at Bernadette's?"

"Penny made me. Bernadette was upset because Howard went out without telling her. Also, I think the pregnancy hormones might be addling with her brain."

"How so?"

"Well, she has a book that Dr. Hofstadter wrote..."

"Which Dr. Hofstadter?"

"Nathan Hofstadter. Anyway, she has the book, the original, and she wants to destroy it."

"Why?"

"Well, apparently, it might upset Leonard."

"Again, why?"

Sheldon took a sip of YooHoo!. "Well, it turns out that Dr. Hofstadter used both his sons in experiments to prove the importance of a father figure in children's lives."

"I heard about that. They taught us about in Harvard. Didn't he break his kid's arm after the other one broke his just to see the different reactions?"

"That was an_ accident_."

"Sheldon. I can see why it would upset Leonard. Knowing his father is capable of child abuse could really horrify him."

"How is it child abuse? They both helped prove.."

"Sheldon, imagine if science had nothing to do with it. What if he just abused that child because he was _angry_?"

"Well, if that was the case, he'd be the worst father ever. Like mine."

"Exactly. Do you see now, what Bernadette meant?"

"Yes."

"Good." She took another mouthful of spaghetti.

"Amy?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you. I never would've understood it on my own."

"It's OK. You're not exactly clued up on social situations." She saw his face droop and hurriedly extended her sentence. "But you're getting better."

He smiled, making her feel like she was melting. Then, without warning, he reached out and moved a strand of her hair from her face. She tensed. Had he really just done that? She placed her fork down and inched her hand towards his. He didn't notice until her nails were just touching his fingertips. He looked down, surprise blossoming on his features.

"I'm sorry." Amy said quickly.

"Why?"

She realised he didn't mind. If he had he would've complained. "Nothing."

* * *

"Amy?"

She looked up at her boyfriend. "Yes?"

"You make a lovely Princess Leia."

"Thank you."

He shocked her by placing a hand on her shoulder, almost caressing it. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Sheldon."

"Goodnight Amy."

Once he was out of earshot, she started shrieking and jumping up and down. Diving for her cell phone so she could text her bestie, she elatedly decided that aromatherapy _definitely_ worked.

**I love Shamy so damn much, I might just call my kid Shamy! When I have one that is. I kinda love the idea of Amy dressing up as Princess Leia. to seduce Sheldon, like when she dressed like Lt Uhura. Maybe she could dress up in the golden bikini next time! Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Reviews and constructive criticism are very welcome! See you soon!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	19. The Scientific Clan Confrontation

Penny smirked at the text from her ecstatic best friend. Who would've thought _Sheldon Cooper _ of all people would get romantic? She heard footsteps outside her door and then her boyfriend's roommate's knock.

"Hey." she greeted, having opened the door after he'd finished knocking.

"Hello."

"Want to come in?"

"Not particularly. I came to tell you I won't mention the book to Leonard and I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention it to him either."

She blinked in surprise. "Why?"

"Amy made me realise that what Dr. Hofstadter, Nathan Hofstadter that is, was wrong. It was child abuse and if Leonard knew his father was capable of doing that to his children, he would be devastated. I don't want him to be devastated."

"Aww." Penny reached up and petted his shoulder. "You sweet thing."

Sheldon sighed. "It's going to be hard, keeping this a secret."

"Just try and pretend you've never read the book." Penny advised.

Sheldon looked thoughtful. "I suppose that could work."

* * *

Bernadette looked at her father-in-law's door. She held the book in her lap. She had been going to destroy it, but then decided she couldn't. It was Nathan's. It'd serve him right if he had something to remind him of what a crappy father he'd been. She opened her car door and headed up the driveway.

"Hey, Bernadette!"

_Dammit, Leonard. _She clutched the book to her chest and turned to face her brother-in-law, smiling widely. "Hi!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to return a book I borrowed from Nathan. I thought you already visited."

"I forgot my inhaler." he explained.

They trudged up the driveway together in silence, until they got to the door.

"What book did you borrow?"

"Just a...um..." _Rats_. This was exactly why she hated the fact she'd gone to Catholic school. He gently moved her arm so he could see the title better. He mouthed the words. He looked shellshocked.

Bernadette squeezed her eyes shut. She felt Leonard sliding it out of her grasp. She heard him opening it up. She could almost hear him reading it, even though she didn't know what was in it. She closed her eyes tighter. She heard the door open and shivered. It was about to go down.

"Hello?" She opened her eyes. Nathan's eyes widened at the book his oldest son was reading.

"_'Life of an Illegitimate Child_?' Really?!"

"It's not what you think.." Nathan started, desperately.

"I know what's in it. I also know _you_." Leonard snapped. "It's _exactly_ what it says on the cover! You didn't marry Howard's mom, did you?"

"No, but I didn't do anything bad to him!" Nathan protested.

"_You broke his arm!_ You broke a _child's arm_! Just to see if he'd cope with the pain any different to how I did."

"I'm not proud of it..."

Leonard made a noise of disdain. "I'm getting my inhaler."

He moved past his father, who followed him trying to protest his innocence further. Leonard ingored him. She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to leave Leonard, that was for certain. When he finally exited the apartment again, still ignoring his father, he looked concerned.

"You're shaking."

She was. She hated confrontations like this. "I'm OK."

"I'll give you a lift home."

"Thanks." She had a sneaking suspicion that Leonard wanted to see Howard. He put an arm around her shoulders, whether it was for support or to share warmth, she didn't know, and led her to his car.  
He had his foot on the accelerator a lot harder than it needed to be. He forgot he had his pregnant sister-in-law until she gasped, "Slow down!"

"Sorry."

"You OK?"

"I can't believe him!" Leonard exploded. "I can't believe either of them! Who does that to kids? It was bad enough with my mother, but I always thought at least she didn't pyhsically hurt her kids, on purpose, for science! And _she did_! And _him_! _He's _ supposed to be the _good guy_! He was always the one I wanted to be!"

"I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything. Looking at him, Bernadette could see he was trying to regain composure.

"At least he did two things right." She found his wrist and held onto it. In the low light, she could see that he looked more contented than he had been while releasing his thoughts on his parents. Considering her work done, at least for the moment, she let her thoughts drift back to her husband.

**I wasn't expecting Leonard and Bernadette to get a moment. Just typing away and thought, "Oh, I know!". Hope you liked it, thank you for the review(s) and see you soon!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	20. The Familial Connotation

Parking the car, Leonard looked across to Bernadette. "Has Howard read the book?"

She nodded. "He kinda read the whole thing."

He looked repulsed. "_All of it?!_"

"Yeah."

Leonard rested his chin on his hands and stared at their apartment complex with a far-off look in his eyes. "Dammit."

* * *

Just like Howard knew when Raj was in trouble, Raj knew when Howard was in trouble. He made his way to the door and knocked. No answer. But he could see their light spilling out through the side of the door. Tentatively, he gripped he handle and opened it.

"Dude? Where are you?"

He knew he was in here. He knew this for a fact. Why wasn't he talking to him? He padded around, looking everywhere in the living room, even behind the couch as if they were playing a game, but couldn't see him. His ears picked up a slight sound. He looked around their bathroom and saw no trace of him. He hesitantly stepped towards their bedroom. As a rule, he didn't go near it unless Howard or Bernadette was in it, it didn't seem right going into other people's bedrooms for some reason.

Still, he entered their bedroom and saw the closet door was open and he could just make out a shadow of a person. Feeling relieved he walked towards it. Oh, boy. Bernadette was _not _going to like this. Boxes were opened and spilling their contents all over the floor. Photographs, clothes he'd never seen either of the married couple in, adorable cuddly toys and a bunch of old inhalers were strewed along the carpet. At least he'd found his best friend.

* * *

Howard had lied his ass off to Bernadette. He wasn't fine at all, but putting any more of his family woes onto his pregnant wife was a big no-no. He'd lasted about ten minutes after she'd gone before tearing into their closet and ripping down all the stuff from his childhood before Nathan had left. After letting out all the fury he felt at his father, he'd felt drained. Exhausted and sad. So he'd picked up an old T-Shirt of Nathan's and clung onto it, sliding on the wall until he wound up on the ground, breathing in the almost comforting smell of the black shirt. It was soft and warm and would've warded off all the negative emotions completely, had the shirt not been _his_.  
He felt numb and then he heard Raj's voice through the fuzziness of his mind. He hoped Raj would go away, he didn't want him to see him so low. It wasn't really unexpected, though, that the Indian had found him. He felt one of Raj's hands gently shake his arm.

"What is it?"

"My father's a jackass."

Raj pushed a dolphin toy away and crouched next to him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"He wrote a book on how he compared me and Leonard. You know, for years I thought he fractured my radius by accident. Bastard wasn't above playing dirty."

"Wait, he _experimented_ on both of you? I thought he was the _better_ parent." He noticed Howard's incredulous look and hastily added, "Out of Mrs Dr. Hofstadter and him."

"When I was a kid, I thought my mom shouted at my dad so much, he got sick of us. I was so _mad _at her. I feel like thanking the woman now."

"Hey, dude. You've got other family than him. I don't mean your cousins or your uncles..I mean us. You have us and you have a child on the way. He doesn't deserve to be in your thoughts and he's certainly not worth destroying your closet over."

Howard looked around his closet as if he'd not known of the mess he'd made. "Oh, _balls_." He scrambled to his feet and started snatching stuff off the floor and cramming it back into shelves. Raj shook his head.

"That's not how you fold stuff, dude."

Howard threw an ancient green towel at him. "I have to hurry. Bernie won't like the mess."

"What are all these clothes?" Raj asked, picking up a sky blue tie.

"He left them behind. I managed to save them by sticking them under my bed." He looked down at the peach coloured shirt he was holding. "I don't want them anymore." He tossed it onto the ground and picked up the dolphin Raj had pushed away. "I think I'll keep Shamu, though."

"That's a dolphin." Raj pointed out.

"My parents bought him for me at Sea World. I loved Shamu, but he only came in puppets, for some reason." He tucked Shamu into a cupboard and started throwing the rest of his father's stuff out the door.

"Man, your father's crap took up a _lot _of room." Raj pointed out, looking at the considerably less cluttered floor.

"That's my new motto." Howard muttered. Raj was right though. With all the clothing gone, the mess had nearly gone placed his hands on his head and looked around.

"Hey," Raj said. "It could've been worse. He could've been a psychopath."

"He _was_ a psychopath." Howard retorted. "Anyway, he's out of my life now."

"What about Leonard."

Howard exhaled slowly. "I don't know."

**We know what Leonard thinks! But there are many twists ad turns that could be taken, so bear with it! Thank you for reading, I hope you've enjoyed and see you soon!_  
_**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	21. The Decluttering Conversation

Raj looked at the enormous pile that filled his best friend's closet. "What'll you do with this?"

Howard shrugged. "Either get Leonard to take it back to Dr. Jackass or chuck it out."

"You could give it to charity." Raj suggested.

Howard picked up a pair of neon green pants and looked at Raj, an eyebrow raised. "I think the people who need charity would be _way_ happier without this."

Raj opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted by the door opening. Seeing that Wolowitz was too pre-ocuppied, he went to see who it was. Going to the living room, he was surprised to see Bernadette with Leonard.

"Hi, Raj. Where's Howie?" Bernadette asked.

"In the closet. Where were you?"

"I had to return something." Bernadette explained. She headed towards their bedroom, leaving Raj with Leonard.

"Is he OK?" Leonard asked, gesturing towards the room where his sibling was.

Raj paused, unsure of how to answer. On the one hand, he was better, but then again, he was nowhere near happy. If he told Leonard that, he'd be sure to ask why. Raj wasn't sure that Howard wanted Leonard to know about what Nathan did, so he settled for a non-committal exhalation.

* * *

Bernadette stepped cautiously into her closet, mouth falling open at the sight that was before her. Clothes, stuffed animals, toys, all matter of crap from the 80's and probably _before _ were all over the soft, cream-coloured carpet.

"What the hell?"

"Hi."

Her husband's voice made her jump. "What the _hell_? The pile's taller than me!"

"So am I."

"Well, what is all this? I didn't even know we had it."

"It's all his."

"You kept it?"

"I missed him."

"Aww." She patted his arm. "What're you going to do with it?"

"I'll ask Leonard if he can give it back to him."

And before she could stop him, he'd gone, a collection of stuff in his arms. She stayed where she was. She was so tired, she just wanted to sit rest. She went to their door and opened it, so she could hear and lay on their bed. She'd had a long day.

* * *

Any other time and it would have been amusing, watching the miniature non-doctor walking around, looking like a pile of rags on legs, but this was not a time for laughing. Well, Raj seemed to find it funny, judging by the smile he was wearing. Howard dumped his burden onto the couch.

"Hey."

"What's all this?" Leonard gestured to the pile.

Both Raj and Bernadette from where they were, listened closely, wondering what would the answer be. Howard didn't know what to say at first, not wanting to upset Leonard with the truth.

"This is, um, stuff Nathan had.."

On the bed, Bernadette cringed and picked up a pillow, smothering her ears. She didn't want to hear this train wreck. She knew, and had assumed her husband, too, would know, that Leonard would immediately pick up on the fact that he had called his father 'Nathan'. She wished she'd gotten the chance to tell him that Leonard knew what he knew.

Howard knew instantly that he'd managed to screw up his lie. He didn't need Leonard's raised left eyebrow or Raj's 'oh no' look to tell him that. Still, he'd started it, so by God, he was going to finish it.

"..That I'm getting rid of. "

"Oh. So, why are you just getting rid of it now?" Leonard asked.

"So the baby has room for his or her stuff."

"I see. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Where did 'Nathan' come from?"

"Well, it's thought to be a Hebrew name and it's meaning is.."

"You _know _ what I mean!"

"I know. It was a slip of the tongue?" He was screwed. But he was _damned_ if he was going to let Leonard know the truth.

"Uh huh." Leonard crossed his arms and took a step forward. "Did you know you kept ducking your head all the way through that conversation?"

Balls. If Leonard knew what Amy knew, he'd _know_ he was lying. Leonard walked past him to where his sister in law was. He needed to know just what in hell was going through Howard's mind.

"Did you tell him anything?" Howard whispered to Raj.

"No. Do you think he knows something?"

"Probably!"

"Well, if your head hadn't turned into a bouncy ball, he wouldn't know you were lying!"

* * *

"Why is he lying to me?" Leonard wanted to know.

"He's probably trying to protect you!" Bernadette pointed out.

"From what?"

"You are clueless!" Bernadette told him.

"Does he know I know?"

"No! I didn't get a chance to tell him."

"Oh, God."

"Don't worry, I'll sort it out." Bernadette tried to soothe.

"Thanks." He didn't know how she would do it, but had no doubt she could.

Bernadette cleared her throat and called for her husband. Three minutes later he decided to put in an appearance.

"He knows." she told him, pointing toward Leonard.

_'Dammit,'_ thought Leonard. _'I could've done that.'_

Howard stood perfectly still. "Knows what?"

"About the book." Bernadette looked at Leonard. "See? I told you I'd sort it."

"I could've done that myself." Leonard told her. She raised her eyebrows, so he hastily amended his statement. "But thanks for helping."

He turned to him to see if he had anything to say. When Howard didn't begin a sentence, he opened his mouth to start one of his own, only to be cut off.

"Can we talk about him some other time?" How the engineer had known he was going to talk about Nathan, Leonard didn't know. What he did know was _he_ wasn't going to _not_ talk about it. He looked at Bernadette, who gave an understanding nod and pointed to the clothes room her spouse had just re-entered

* * *

It was unfair of him, he knew, to avoid talking about it with Leonard. But, he didn't want to hear, or even think, about how badly hurt his older sibling was. It was cowardly and pathetic, but there was no way he was discussing Nathan _now_. He looked around. _Damn_, there was a lot of stuff. How he'd managed to sneak it into Bernadette's apartment, he couldn't remember.

"Why don't you want to talk about him?"

Rats. He knew it'd be stupid to assume Leonard would leave it alone. "What's there to talk about?" he asked, snatching a shirt off the floor and folding it, so it'd look like there was a reason he wasn't facing his sibling.

"Oh, for..._Stop _playing dumb with me!" He didn't like being snappy, but he didn't know why Howard wouldn't just be straight with him and it was starting to grate on his nerves.

"Let it go, would you?"

"What was it you said a month ago? 'We have to talk about Nathan'?" A low blow, but he was willing to try anything at this point.

" OK, I was _wrong_! We should _never _have talked about him. Are you happy now?"

"Why won't you _talk_?"

"I _am_ talking." Howard muttered. It was childish and he knew it, but he didn't want to be reminded of it, and he didn't think it would be a good idea for Leonard to be reminded of it either.

It was that retort that pushed the physicist to his limit. He wasn't angry, but frustration, annoyance, whatever it was, caused him to roughly grab a shoulder and twist the non-doctor so he was facing him. "God, dammit, you _know_ what I meant! You're just-"  
It was the look that came over the younger man's features that stopped Leonard's rant dead. Just the look of complete terror that had made itself present. He'd seen fear before. The 'oh no/oopsie' look that Sheldon wore when he made a mistake or Penny's 'oh crap' expression. This was terror. This was the kind of 'oh-my-God-he's-going-to-cause-me-irreparable-dama ge-and-there's-nothing-and-no-one-on-this-planet-w ho-can-save-me' look of horror that could have come from a Charles Dickens novel. He loosened his grip, unable to look him in the eye any longer. How had that even happened?

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper."

"You stopped. He never did." Howard eyed the floor. "I don't want to talk about the book with you, because it's worse for you and you don't need reminding."

"How is it worse for me?"

"You had both parents using you as a convenience. I only had one." Even though he did his best to let it out gently, it still sounded harsh.

That made Leonard think of his mother. He warily wondered how she'd defend herself. Knowing her, she'd not think she'd done any wrong at all. Thinking of what she'd done to both of them, he could feel his temper rising. He'd really have to Skype her soon. Maybe in two or three days, she'd just be focusing on his emotions and not his words if he called her and was still pissed off.

"Leonard?"

He realised he hadn't responded to Howard's statement. "Yeah, that's right."

"You came here from his place, huh?"

"Yeah. She was giving him his novel back." Leonard looked at the pile still dominating the carpet. "What do we do with this?"

Concentrating on the assemblage, an idea sparked to life. "Does your paintball gun still work?"

* * *

**Just so you know, Howard asked the last question. It was going to be Leonard originally, but that would be a _tad_ OOC. Sorry I've not been around, my ideas went phut and I've been pretty busy! Wow, I can't believe Christmas is like only 50 days away! That reminds me, I'd really better get back to work on WHC. So, was it good, ungood? Let me know and enjoy the rest of your weekends!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


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